This Gift

I'm so ashamed
The guilt weighs upon my shoulders
Like bricks stacked one upon another
Ready to topple
waiting to crush me

For being human

I've fallen again
My knee's ache
with the force of the fall
and I wonder
will they ever heal?

I see His hand
Reaching out to me
Ready to lift me
From this miry ditch
But He is clean
And I am filthy
How could I ever
Reach out to Him
I might taint
His pure love
and cause others to fall

Because I'm human

I look away
Rejecting His help
I feel this pain
so sharp and deep
within this black heart of mine
I turn to see
His face is contorted
and He has fallen to His knee's
His arms are raised
and I hear His voice
but He isn't speaking to me
He's speaking to His Father

In shame I listen
as He offers
His pure blood
to pay the price
for my failures
He weeps for me

I want to flee
to run away from Him
But the weight is so heavy
I can't move
I can only sink
further into the dark

I killed Him
because I fell
how can I live
knowing the sacrifice
He made
So I could be free

Blood tears soak His robe
and his prayers
never cease
and I know
that I just can't
reject this Gift
any longer

But I can't move
and I've lost
my voice to the dark
I'm sinking too fast
I try to scream
but it is swallowed
as I am crushed by my shame

So cold
here in the dark
smothered by guilt
drowned by shame
and I whisper
as I feel my life fading

Jesus save me please...

I don't think
He heard my plea
for I'm still here
in this ditch
alone and dead

The earth shakes
causing the bricks
to tumble from my shoulders
I wait for them to end my suffering
but even as I hear
them shattering around me
I feel no pain
I look up
and see
that Jesus is standing
over me, arms outstretched
Protecting me

In His wrists I see
the wounds I caused
His ankles bear the
sign of the pain He felt
hanging on that cross
just for me

I'm sorry
I didn't mean to
I tried
so hard
not to fall
I didn't want
to cause you pain
But I'm just human

He looks at me
love so bright
in his eyes
His voice
doesn't reach my ears
but I hear Him all the same

I don't ask you
to be anything
other than
My child
you are not
required to be
perfect
I will not
force you to
accept this gift
of mine
but I offer it
all the same

You will fall
and bruise your knee's
but I will be there
each time
to lift you up again
All you have to do
is accept this gift
with all of
My endless
Love

Jan 29, 2012

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